Dear Bunmi,
My boyfriend and I couldn’t keep our hands off each other and we would want to make the most of our compatibility.
He said it is possible for us to orgasm together, but it takes me a long time to get there compared to him. Do you have any tips to enhance our coming together?
Thanks!
Susie,
By E-mail

Dear Susie,
The questions some of you ask could be quite adventurous ones! To help you here, I had to ask an expert who told me you’ve got two options here. Your man can slow down by stopping thrusting as he gets near climax, withdrawing and holding just under the tip of his organ for a moment until the feeling subsides.

Or you can speed things up for yourself with lots of foreplay. It is a fact that kissing is good for you. A kiss releases stress-relieving hormones, while the extra saliva generated helps prevent tooth decay.

A minute-long tongue-twister burns 26 calories as well. So kiss away so you can relax! Being tense is bound to prevent your getting your much-desired orgasm as early as you wish. fact that she is now a grandmother hasn’t cramped her style at all.

She has recently been associated with my husband’s uncle and this is causing friction between me and my husband. His uncle’s wife is spoiling for a showdown and is trying to tar me with the same brush as my mother’s. When I eventually tackled

My ex is an irresponsible dad

Dear Bunmi,
I fell out with my partner early last year because of his irresponsible attitude. We have a five-year- old son who he visited at least once a month when we first separated. Lately, he would talk to the poor boy on phone promising to visit but lets him down most of the time. The boy is now confused and my ex says he’s always too busy at work to find time to visit.

He can’t take him home either as he has a Iive-in-lover who doesn’t encourage my son’s visits. I’ve talked to him to find time for his son but it hasn’t helped. Should I ask him to stay out of our boy’s life? I don’t want to upset the poor boy further.

Abiola,
By E-mail

Dear Abiola,
Have you ever considered telling your man he needn’t phone before he sees his own son. Now that your son is five, have you talked to him to find out how he really feels about his dad? Because he lives apart from his dad, their bond will take time to deepen. So encourage whatever contact they have to be together. As your son grows older and comes to know his dad better, they will develop ways of staying in touch that include regular visits as your son could be able to visit his dad unsupervised.

In the meantime, point out to your ex how much he means to his son and how much the boy needs a male influence in his life. With time, you’ll help your ex to discover the pleasure and rewards of being a good father.

She’s sleeping with her friend’s dad

Dear Sunmi,
My 23 years old niece is sleeping with her boyfriend’s father while the boyfriend is away studying for his masters at the University in another state. She grew up in a one-parent family and I think this is responsible for her behaviour. When her boyfriend was studying in a near-by state, his father used to drive my niece to see him and I knew he was bent on seducing her.

Now her mum has found texts in her phone of all the type of things they were up to.

He even promised they might get married. His wife is down with partial stroke and my niece gives  the impression of being fond of this poor unsuspecting woman. I don’t understand how she can fancy a man of almost 50 when she could have her choice of boys her own age. If this gets out, it will destroy the man’s family. Help!

Stephanie
By E-mail

Dear Stephanie,
There is tragedy in the making here and I’m sure your niece is conscious of this. She finds happiness with a man who, as you suggested, is in some ways the dad she didn’t grow up with. By sleeping with both father and son, she shows her insecurity.

Instead of condemning her, encourage her to talk about her choices, let her see what could be the cruel outcome of her behaviour. She’s exploring what she needs from men. If you can, arrange for her to be with friends her own age, male and female, so she could boost her confidence.
The right guidance from you, without sounding judgmental, will make her see the errors of her way.

I need to hurt this love rat!

Dear Bunmi,
Seven months ago, I fell in love with a youth corper posted to my town. I am 22 years old and a nurse in the local hospital. My boyfriend is 27.

About a month after we met, I moved in with him at his request. I believed he would eventually marry me. Now, after months of cooking his meals, doing his laundry and generally keeping house for him, he no longer wants anything to do with me. It was through another source that I learnt that he was in fact married with a child.

Now he wants me to move out because his wife would be joining him soon. He doesn’t eat my food anymore and is hostile to me.
How do I go about this?

Ireti,
By E-mail

Dear Ireti,
I would forget about this callous cheat if I were you. I wish you young girls were not so eager to move in with men who profess undying love at the start of a relationship.

A lot of men play on the gullibility of girls eager to get married by making hallow promises. Some of the letters I receive from jilted lovers like you who feel used and humiliated tell it all.

I advise you to leave this man when you are still sane and have a bit of your pride left. He’s certainly not going to leave his wife for you no matter what you do. I need to hurt this love rat!