By Helen Ovbiagele
I was glad to note  that readers who sent in their views on the need for us to ensure better parenting for a better society, agreed that the issue needs to be taken seriously.  While some urge parents to be more involved in the lives of their wards, others blame the government for not helping parents do their jobs properly.  These latter have a point.

We may well do our utmost to bring up our children to be responsible and well-adjusted adult members of the society, but if the government doesn’t play its role of  helping to provide further means of building on the efforts of parents, young people are not going to get anywhere.

For example, it was unwise for government to drive ASSU into another strike towards the end of last year, by not keeping its promises to this important body.  That means that there would be a delay in new undergraduates beginning their courses, and the old ones resuming theirs.

This is bound to take its toll on their studies for the semester as not areas would be covered, or, covered properly and diligently.  This would go on to affect adversely, the overall university education that these young people would get at the end of their stay.

Frequent disruptions of studies and cult activities are part of the reasons that parents now send their wards to higher institutions outside the country.

As if the ASSU strike wasn’t enough, the government decided to increase the cost of fuel on the first day of the new year by over 200%, thus sending up astronomically, transport fares and  leaving many parents and their children stranded where they had gone to spend the Christmas.

Talk of government’s bad timing and  insensitivity, which borders on cruelty!  If a young person from a morally-sound but desperately  poor background had to go steal, or if it’s a young girl, had to go sell her body, in order to meet these expenses, would it be as a result of bad parenting?

Maybe, but not totally on the part of the parents, but on the part of the government also.  Some parents in Britain last summer were shocked when their well-brought-up children took part in the rioting which destroyed lives, property and businesses! The government there was blamed for not being sensitive to the needs of the youth in that country.

‘Helen, it’s true that parents should pay more attention to the raising of their children, but with the stressful lives which successive governments have condemned us to in this country, (unemployment, no security of lives and property, poor quality education, poor social services, etc.) many parents are unable to police their children as they ought to.

If you’ve been out chasing jobs because you’ve lost yours, or, can’t carry out your vocation because there’s no electricity supply for you to use, and your wife has been doing petty trading to help feed the family, you would be too stressed out to really enforce those values you’re trying to instill in your children.

If the government are alive to their responsibility and provide those things listed above, parents would have the peace of mind to watch their children more carefully.  Thanks –  Josh, Lagos.’

‘Madam, parents should endeavour to teach their children the right path to toe in life, and to practise what they have taught them, and continue praying to God that they would not deviate from such teachings, when they leave for boarding schools, or to higher institution, due to peer pressure or, bad influence of the people they associate with.

Was it not the monkey that said, she did not know when the little monkey she was carrying on her back, plucked a ripe fruit?  The menace of ‘area boys’, is the result of children born out of wedlock or, from broken homes, or children whose parents bred them like rats, and therefore, could not adequately cater for their needs!  This is the same problem we are having with the ‘amajiris’ in the north. – Ifeka Okonkwo.’

‘Mrs Ovbiagele, committed area persons are that way, right from their early childhood, and it’s difficult for them to shed this toga later, whatever fields they find themselves in.  Bad and irresponsible parenting is responsible for their emergence, and some of them do become something in the society, much to our chagrin.  T

hey in turn raise their own children in their own mould, and the tradition continues.  What the government can do is to carry out intense campaigns through grassroot religious bodies, giving firm guidelines on how to raise children so that the phenomenon can be wiped out.

The various religious leaders have a great role in helping parents and their children to discard rascality and vices, and become respected and responsible members of the society. –  Tunde, Ilesha.’

‘Helen, I think parenting should be taught in schools, right from an early age.  Surprised?  Don’t be!  Children, whatever their social level, are very smart these days.  They themselves know who are good parents, and who are bad parents.

So, if we catch them early, children of ‘area parents’ may not toe the line of their parents, but resolve to emulate the role-models that the government and religious bodies send to give them talks.  They should also be guided to read books on self-improvement/development, and helped to discover their own talents.

During the holidays, the government at ward level, should organize vocational classes and talks on morals and ethics for them.  Keep them busy and they won’t have time to go join bad gangs.  Even those in bad gangs can be rescued. Thanks.  Claire,  Ife.’

‘For a better society, parenting shouldn’t be left to parents only; all hands should be on deck to raise the young who will be leaders in future.  The government, non-governmental organizations, corporate bodies, and of course parents, should join hands to help raise the young in ways that would be of benefit to the society.

If we neglect to do this, don’t be surprised if many of them become thorns in our sides in future as they embrace hooliganism, thuggery, and criminal activities.  Programmes on various aspects of life should be organized for them at any given opportunity.  These can be sponsored by government, corporate bodies, NGOs, etc.

They shouldn’t be limited to holiday times only, but there can be after-school talks and activities, and weekend programmes.  Talks can be on ethics, morals, health, and choice of career/vocation.  Youths should be made to feel an important part of the society.  If they’re saddled with responsibilities from an early age, most of them will turn out well.’

‘Madam, the character of some parents are nothing worth emulating, so, how can they be expected to raise well-behaved children?  Some unscrupulous adults exploit children and launch them on the path of crime and destruction.

A good neighbourhood to neighbourhood campaign by the local government, will go a long way to guiding children in the right direction.  This of course means that every ward in the country should have lists of young people in their area, noting their ages, background and what they do.

As things are in our country at present, no government in any part of the country is aware of the existence of the young people in their area, let alone to monitor how they are raised and what they do.  This is a shame in modern day Nigeria.

Our leaders can’t claim that they don’t know that they ought to do this, given the fact that they’re always on one course, seminar, conference, of one sort or the other, in  the developed countries.  Can’t they bring down here what they’ve observed/learnt over there? –
Chuks, Olodi, Apapa.’

We thank all those who sent in their views.