A young, very pretty lady found herself in a dilemma. It was the kind of dilemma most ladies her age would not mind having. Two dashing, eligible bachelors were seeking her hand in marriage. One was richer and more vivacious. He was also better looking. The other was a quiet, studious type.

Her heart naturally went to the former and was always looking forward to his visit because with him, there was hardly a dull moment. But there was a snag. She lived in a one-room apartment with her mother and two siblings in a rather high density part of town. This young man who had stolen her heart would come in his flashy car and send a coded message with his car horn. And, if that didn’t work, he would find someone to send a message to her for a tip.

But he never got out of the car and therefore, didn’t know either the siblings or the mother well. He however bought them gifts including food if they went out for dinner. The other suitor was different. He would get out of his car, enter the room and prostrate for the mother if she was in, exchange pleasantries with the siblings if they were there, before taking his date out.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have the money to lavish on gifts for the mother and siblings that his rival had. And this, tended to tilt the balance. She knew she needed to make a decision fast so sought advice from her mother who simply said ‘I can’t tell you whom to marry. But remember this; one treats us as objects, the other treats us as human beings’. That other one might not lavish you with money, but he would treat you better ’. She listened to her mother rather than her heart and chose the latter. This was almost five decades ago. They are now doting grandparents with the man having retired at the top of his profession.

Life is about choices. Our journey of life is full of forks and intersections. From the choice of a profession to life partner, to workplace and even friendship, rare is that person who has never made a wrong choice at least once, in life; rare is that person who has never taken a wrong turning in life. It is what makes life unpredictable and therefore, what makes it exciting. It is also what tests and tempers character. Not all choices are as difficult or as potentially life-changing as the example of the young lady. 

Some, like whether to have coffee or tea with breakfast, or watch sports instead of news, are easier to make probably because the consequences are not as grave. I made one of those light choices on October 1. Since the years I stopped working in a newspaper house, our Independence Day had become a day to engage in my favourite sport in the

mornings and a couple of visits in the evenings. I usually tried to squeeze in Pastor Oyemade’s Platform which is an Independence Day discourse on the state of the nation, but was hardly successful.

Last Tuesday, I made a choice to stay home to watch ‘The Platform’. I am glad I did. The general theme centered around unlocking the potentials in the country. What I liked most was the positive tone of most of the speakers. They spoke to those who are desirous of making lemonade out of the lemons the country and its past leaders had handed us, and not to those who spend the days pining for the sweet oranges they still felt entitled to but which had long left the shelf.

It was heartwarming to see young people taking notes and actively participating in the discourse. If it is just a handful who are weaned over and who become intentional about seeking to make the best out of what Nigeria now has to offer them, then the whole effort of The Platform would have been worth it. More importantly, it was a choice these youths made to learn at the feet of elders. They could have spent the time dwelling in negativity and posting all kinds of unhealthy stuff on the social media.

Or worse, storming the streets in protests as some other youths had chosen to do. I am not knocking those who were on the streets. It was their choice and protests have their uses. If anything, they help to knock our leaders off their complacent stools and make them realise how hurtful some of their economic choices are to the people. But I would wish that those who spent their mornings protesting, would spend their evenings on strategies for survival if not

advancement. They should heed the African proverb which states that those on whose head a coconut is broken hardly eat out of the coconut. Some unfortunately spend their waking – and sleeping – hours complaining about the lemon that life, through the bad choices of the leaders, has handed them.

Nigeria has made a lot of bad choices. Some of them were highlighted at the discourse. We spent the proceeds from our depleting assets on luxuries. We should not be surprised that we have ended up being poor. We loved foreign goods and preferred consumption to production. We should not be surprised that there are no factories to employ our youths. We deferred unduly to white collar jobs above skills acquisition.

We should not be surprised that our youths have lost the use of their hands. We equated wealth with success and glorified wealth however gotten over hard work and integrity. We should not be surprised that our youths now engage in ‘Yahoo Plus’ in their quest for quick wealth. But perhaps the worst choice our leaders made was to give the impression that the country was rich and thereby infused an entitlement mentality into the polity.

An entitlement mentality is a laidback, lazy mentality. Choices have consequences and the perhaps the consequence of this is that we have a people who expect so much from the State and very little of themselves. Some even expect the State to find a spouse and fund the marriage for them – some States have actually done that. As a result, our sense of ownership as a people is low; our sense of responsibility is even lower.

If there was anything those who listened and took notes at the hall and on TV on Tuesday learned, it was that they have to be intentional about changing their mindset from negative to positive; from entitlement to ownership of their destiny. Governments have their place; families have theirs; individuals have theirs. Governments have made bad choices over the years. Individuals must seek knowledge and awareness in order to limit the consequences of Government’s and their own bad choices. It’s your life; take ownership and be intentional about lifting yourself above the fray. Opportunities are still there in Nigeria for those who are prepared to make lemonade out of lemons.

Happy Independence Anniversary.