Dear Bunmi, after less than four years of marriage, I left my controlling husband and knew I’d done the right thing.   

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We have a toddler and, recently, when he visited me to see our daughter, he told me he was going to marry again.   

It felt as if he was leaving me behind. Sadly, I haven’t been able to move on.   

I still wear my wedding ring and one of our wedding pictures is still on display in my flat, and I’ve never had another relationship.   

Dear Bunmi, why am I wasting my life?

Ibidun, by e-mail.         

Dear Ibidun,

You need to realise that there’s only one thing holding you back – you. 

You say you can’t move on. That’s not true.   

First of all, take off your wedding ring. Put it in a safe place – or sell it and use the money to treat yourself. 

Next, take down your wedding photograph.   

You have to create a new life for yourself. Meet new people. Try something new – anything! 

It’s all about preparing your mind and body for a new beginning.

There are lots of adventures waiting for you, but don’t wait for them to come to you – go out there and find them!

Vanguard News